The Other Home!

The home of my friends – the Jains – in Udaipur is like a second home to me. Not because I go there often and stay with them. It is because I feel at ease there, and don’t feel like a guest. Both Manish and Vidhi are generous hosts and make my stay comfortable. But there are many friends who do the same when I visit their homes but I still don’t feel at home. Here, at the Jain household, I can be myself, and I am. More than me, Manish, Vidhi and Kanku are themselves, too – that allows the wind of freedom to move easily between us. They include me in their conversation with natural grace – from issues about their work in Shikshantar, to more intimate ones about their personal lives and family. Last time I was there, it was nearing midnight when Vidhi, with impishness in her voice, asked me whether Manish had shared the good news. I tried to guess whether it was about any new funds coming into Swaraj learning programme. Of course, it wasn’t and Manish wouldn’t say anything either. This went on for some time until I realized the significance of the good news, and how I was included to savour it with charm and warmth.

The space of the house bubbles with inclusiveness and kindness. I like the kitchen and making tea. The food is eaten together with lots of conversations, leg pulling banter, jokes, sharing, Kanku’s innocent babble and plans. The morning tea with toast, breakfast with fruits and nuts, and dinner with hot chapattis followed by Vidhi’s quiet entry into the kitchen to return with delicious desert are special moments that I cherish the most.

I move around the house with complete liberty. Never have I felt any restrictions or anxiety about anything. The other day, I invited a guest to come with me to have tea in their home without any second thoughts. It was so natural, like inviting someone for tea at my home.  I also share my intimate issues with them with ease.

Like me there is a string of guests of Shikshantar who frequent their house. Most times, early in the morning, having just arrived in Udaipur. They are welcomed with the same enthusiasm that I encounter when I enter their home. At times, I worry for Vidhi. The guests are never ending, and the privacy of the Jain family, bears the brunt from these numerous visits.  As hosts, particularly Vidhi, they are warm and gracious.

I always like visiting them. It is a home away from home. Although, one person I miss very much is the charming presence of Shilpa, Manish’s sister, who moved out some time ago to make her own nest!

Read Full Post »

Riding on a Ripple

Its just that am not used to being startled,

On a normal March morning peaking slowly

When you arrived beaming, your appearance

Creating a stir in otherwise a routine day.

Your smile, wide across your face said it all,

You perhaps dont like the calmness of the space,

Like a breeze your movement disturb

the tranquillity that abounds around me,

And I am transfixed by the ripples your appearance create.

And, before I can gather myself, like a whirlwind,

you are gone leaving the turbulence behind.

The ripples dont slow by your disappearance, they raise

questions and confusions, and pleasant thoughts

To savour long after the last movement has faded from memory.

Was the moment real or is my minds seeing a mirage

to create excitement in otherwise an ordinary day.

But the lasting impression of your piercing eyes, hidden behind

the scarf-covered face, with their magic and vulnerability,

And the sea of stories within them remind me that perhaps

I have failed to keep in touch, will keep haunting me,

Until you appear again, suddenly, one fine morning….!

Read Full Post »

On Friendship…

What is the meaning of friendship? Is true friendship possible without love? These are some of my preoccupations at the moment. I feel that the basis of trust, faith and acceptance is love. My favourite author and philosopher, Ivan Illich, said this, “friendship is the melding of one’s inner being with others….” This captures the essence of friendship – connecting our soul with others whom we love. Friendship is total submission to the other. It means letting go of our egos – the biggest stumbling block in achieving and realising our humanity. The competitive world in which we live today, we rarely become light and are forever on our guard. We are always careful and measure what we say because we are afraid of being misunderstood or ridiculed or losing our face. We have false notions and grandeur of the power that comes from external sources, which further prevents us from sensing our real power that resides inside us – power that makes us human, on even level with others, which opens our eyes to the beauty and grace within others. By accepting our humanness as god’s unique gift makes it easier to relate with others easily without being numbed down by title, degrees and designations or by other superficial considerations. Submission doesn’t mean losing our dignity, no. It means freedom to trust the goodness of others. Friendship is a door to understand ourselves and an opportunity to grow as a person in the company of others.

Friendship is about reciprocity as much as acknowledging the silence of others. It is unconditional. Accept no returns. That means accepting others as they are. You might have thousand expectations from the other, however don’t base your friendship on such conditions. Acceptance is acceptance. It emanates from pool of love. And, yes it is possible to love many at the same time. I do.

I have many friends and for me the foundation is love. Love of course brings pain. You need to experience pain to understand love. Freedom means to let others be, but that in itself is so painful because you have so many expectations, and expectations are bound to fall flat on many occasions because of diverse ways in which all of us behave. But letting others be is the condition in which friendship thrives, love blossoms.

My expression of love is not silent. It manifests in different ways. Earlier, I was afraid of showing it. Not anymore. I show it without any ego trips. I have sensed that love fills me with energy, freshness and vitality. It drives me on a path of bliss. It gives me meaning and purpose. I don’t feel insulted, slighted or hurt. Because I am sure of its genuine expressions; it is not phony for personal gains. It is the source of my power and my well-being. I can feel the glow on my face, song in my heart and spring in my steps.

Being in love is a passport to being loved. It is as natural as our breathing. It is an inner process expressing itself into the external world. It is the truth that you come to face, and once you feel its magnetic pull you begin to understand who and what you are. Friendship opens the door to this magic of love.

You feel blessed!

Read Full Post »